Live By Design ~ a blueprint for you

And this is my Health Journey...

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Let's talk about vulnerability – what does this word mean to you? Do you get uneasy when you read this word? Does it make you uncomfortable to be vulnerable? Webster’s defines vulnerability as capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. So… I guess that means we are vulnerable 24/7???? What???? This sounds like a horrible way to live – always waiting to be wounded. How can this become a positive driving force?

For me, vulnerability means being authentic, being present in the moment (I mean who does that?), and being open to learning and growing and knowing the mistakes and challenges I make shape me and being OKAY with that. I’ve always considered myself a perfectionist and that makes being vulnerable REALLY scary, and I’m sure some of you can relate! There is this self-imposed expectation that we must do whatever it takes to be well put-together and confident, regardless of what the day brings, especially during this social media era.

But what I have learned is that there is power in vulnerability. By learning more about myself through mistakes and opportunities, that vulnerability gave me the strength to grow, trust my intuition, and most important – my HEALTH. I find that this power can also connect me to you and you to the next person, a ripple effect. It’s our vulnerabilities that bring us together – my story – your story – our HEALTH!

My health journey really began about 15 years ago – here goes the vulnerability!

I was always a skinny little girl that could eat whatever I wanted. Thinking back to what I consumed during the high school years frightens me now. I was moderately active, but still consumed 3500+ calories a day filled with refined white breads, sugar, and fat. I had a great metabolism, but I was what you would call a skinny fat person. I really didn’t have much muscle tone and the older I got, the less active I became. Here comes the infamous freshman fifteen after high school, so I started going to the gym for cardio – gotta lose the fat! Sure the weight came off, but I did nothing to change my diet except to restrict calories and eat FAT FREE things, remember those delicious Keebler fat free cookies? Or the 100 calories snack packs? I would teeter back and forth with working out, calorie restriction, and fat free everything for YEARS! Thinking this was the way.

Let me tell you…. It is NOT the way. Why did I keep doing the same “diet” over and over again with really no results? Isn’t this the definition of insanity? Well that’s how I felt. Can you relate to trying diet after diet, maybe getting short-term results for that special event to attend and then the weight comes back on or MORE when the diet ends? You are not alone my friend.

In 2008, I was a dual major at Oregon State University in Finance and Accounting as an older student (in my early 30’s). I thought I was done with elective classes – I was wrong. I needed an upper level elective class to meet a requirement for graduation and as I’m reading through the course catalog, (just angry about it) I came across a nutrition class. I was struggling with my weight at the time (actually the heaviest I had ever been) and thought, well maybe I’ll learn something interesting and it met the credit requirement. What did I have to lose? NOTHING!!!! I only gained and not more weight!

I ended up being so fascinated with the science of nutrition that I completely switched gears, I changed my major to Health & Wellness. I found my passion at the age of 31! Even though health was now a new found love and passion, it wasn’t easy to break years and decades of bad unhealthy habits – anyone ever try to quit soda pop? I’d say eliminating soda from my daily consumption was one of the hardest things I have EVER done. Changing life long habits and overcoming false mindsets that you thought were truths are not going to happen overnight. I had to show myself some grace and be vulnerable to the changes.

I didn’t have some major health event as my wake-up call, (I’m very lucky) but as my weight fluctuated up and down over the years it got harder to maintain and I knew I needed to eat better and add physical activity to the list. We all KNOW these things, but its usually ONE thing that drives us to make a change.

Soon after my husband and I got married, we tried having a baby right away (felt that clock ticking since I was in my 30’s). I had been on birth control for more years than I could count and we actually had success pretty quick, but the fertilized egg never implanted in my uterine wall and I lost it (shortest pregnancy ever). We struggled for years to get pregnant. My doctor just kept saying, “be patient, it will happen.” Well after few years and a move, I switched doctors and finally found someone who was willing to run some lab tests to see what was going on. BINGO! I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Did you know your thyroid effects reproductive health? Now, it wasn’t off the charts or anything really scary, I just needed to take daily meds to keep the thyroid working. Since this was new medication, I was to go to the lab monthly to check my thyroid levels. This was to see if any adjustments were needed to the medication moving forward. Due to my monthly results, the medication changed – monthly.

UGH! Why was my body not working with the meds??? You would think this would be the question of my doctor, but she just kept playing with the dose. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Be your own advocate! At this point, I was just about done with college (remember I changed my major) and I was a wealth of knowledge when I came to nutrition. I believe the food can heal, but it can also be poison. Even the healthiest of foods can be poison to someone. I did loads of research and came across a bunch of foods that can inhibit thyroid production. Guess what? I was consuming three of those foods daily in my morning smoothies! It was kale, flax seed, and soy protein powder. Two of the three are very healthy items, but not for me on a daily basis. By switching items in my smoothie and not purchasing any soy items (read your labels), I healed myself. I no longer have hypothyroidism (no more meds) and I got pregnant a few years later, after my body healed.

But…. The journey doesn’t end there… While I was pregnant, I had cravings like I had never had before. I had this mindset that this was my little miracle baby, I was in my 40’s and wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and not worry about what I ate and to just be intuitive. Well… I was intuitive, but that lead me to sugar, sugar, and more sugar. I’m embarrassed to say how many Girl Scout cookies, Oreos, and how much mint chocolate chip ice cream I consumed. I was really packing on the pounds. I was planning on breast-feeding so I knew the weight would just melt off, right??? Wrong – this was not the case for me.

When I checked into the hospital to deliver my little miracle baby, I was at the heaviest I had ever been. It was shocking, but I had a growing a baby in me (hear the rationalization). Now that we were home, I was breast-feeding, hungry all the time, and my stomach had room for food again, but old habits are hard to kick! I still was not making the best of choices, but at least I wasn’t consuming large amounts of sugar daily. That fortunately ended with the pregnancy. However, the weight wasn’t coming off no matter how much I breast fed and I was disgusted to see myself in pictures, not to mention the inflammation in my body and other pains that were arising due to the extra weight and lack of nutritious eating. Something had to change – it was ME!

Yep, it was me that needed to change. I knew I couldn’t do it alone, so I got a coach to hold my hand and to be vulnerable with me. I needed someone to hold me accountable, someone to answer too. It really makes all the difference, especially when you have the knowledge like I do. I had two weight goals I wanted to achieve: 1) to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and 2) get back to my wedding weight in a healthy and sustainable way.

I had to be open to my vulnerability in order to grow and make life saving changes in my health. Yes, I talk about the weight because that is what I saw everyday in the mirror. The weight was the wake up call for me to take action even though my ultimate goal is to be a healthy role model for my family by teaching healthy eating behaviors and incorporating daily physical activity by leading by example. What is yours?